Liz Craig, Writer

Recently, I did a rush article for a client. She agreed to the fee (2 hours’ regular fee plus $50 for rush), and I provided the article hours before her deadline.

I billed her… and waited.

I billed her again… and am still waiting.

E-mails to her have gone unanswered. So I have no idea why she hasn’t paid me. I thought of some possibilities:

• She’s broke and was too embarrassed to say so (I would have worked out a payment plan for her, if that would help).

• She never intended to pay me in the first place (in which case, she’s a cheater and a liar); or

• She meant to pay me, but then she had some unexpected setbacks and couldn’t (See first reason above).

• She ran off to South America after pulling off a bank heist.

• She is lying in a hospital somewhere after a bad accident and can’t speak. Obviously can’t e-mail.

• She is deceased.

No way can I know which if these, if any, is true. That’s what gets to me.

Once, I bugged a client for $400 he owed me for an entire year. Dozens of phone calls, e-mails, calls to the Accounts Payable Department of his company. Finally, I got the check. But what did all this fretting and bugging do to me? It kept me upset for a whole year. Maybe shortened my life by a week or two. That was the first time I got screwed over. This is only the second (unless she pays me) in nine years, so I guess I should be glad that the great majority of my clients are honest and pay for copywriting assignments on time.

So, this time, whether I understand why this client isn’t paying me for some (darn good) copywriting or not, I’m going to forgive her and move on.

Not for her sake, but for my own.

UPDATE!
I found her phone number and called. Turns out she and her family had been out of town for spring break, and she hadn’t had a chance to answer my e-mails. She said someone in the office is cutting me a check today. Will let you know if “the check is in the mail” or not.

UPDATE! Got the check! Wow.

So it’s up to you to create compelling advertising for a product. All the information you have to go on is a list of product features in a brochure. It does this, it looks like this, it costs this much. Really basic stuff. But you want to get prospective customers excited enough about your product to buy it. Just describing its features the way Mr. Spock would — from intellectual observation — won’t do the trick. You have to find a benefit in the product that will show prospects they need, want or desire it.

So how do you turn features into benefits? By following the WIIFM method. “What’s in it for me?” is the first question the prospect will ask. And it’s the crucial question you must answer. A fact sheet for a banana might list features like “attractive yellow hue,” “soft texture,” “delicious flavor,” etc. But does that make you want to buy a banana? If you’ve never heard of it before? No. Only if it has a benefit for you. In selling, WIIFM (What’s In It For Me) applies to bananas and every other thing under the sun.

“What do I need a banana for?” your prospect asks.

You reply, “Well, bananas are delicious and handy to take on a trip, ’cause they have their own wrapper. They’re great for snacks or sliced on cereal. Each banana has only 100 calories and no fat. They provide the potassium you need every day to stay healthy. And they’re natural and unprocessed, with no food additives. Oh, and by the way, kids love ‘em.”

“Okay, sounds pretty good, but I’m looking for new menu ideas. Got any?”

“You can make fantastic banana nut bread with it, or ring a fruit salad with alternating slices of banana and kiwi, or — well, here — here’s our new banana cookery booklet, ‘Go Bananas With Bananas!’ There are literally hundreds of ways you can use bananas in salads and desserts!”

“All right — I’m sold!”

What’s the difference between a feature and a benefit? A feature is a “so what?”, while a benefit is the “what’s in it for me?”, the sizzle of the steak, the one thing that makes prospective customers sit up and take notice.

The old AIDA formula still holds:

• Attention

You must get the prospect’s attention so they’ll listen to your message. A great visual, a compelling headline, or on TV or radio, a curious sound (or silence)…

• Interest

You must tell him or her something that interests him or her in your product. Some way to use it to solve a problem, some way the product enhances their life, makes them look more attractive, saves them money…

• Desire

What would make your targeted prospect desire the product? (Better health, wealth, quality of life, convenience, deliciousness, fun?)

• Action

You’ve hit the prospect with the benefits that should appeal to them. If they have a need that your product can fill, then they may go out and buy it.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? It is, but often, advertisers present a list of features, thinking surely the prospect can figure out how the features are beneficial to them. It’s best not to count on their taking the time to connect the dots.

So as an advertiser creating a campaign, always ask, “What does my prospective customer need this (product or service) for?” If you can’t think of an answer, well… think harder.

When it snows, it blizzards. Or something like that. 4Q ’09 was bleak. As of January 1, the avalanche rumbled down the mountain, and suddenly, everybody wanted a brochure, some articles, a proposal, and so on. WOW!

Wrote a brochure for one client yesterday, got feedback they loved it and are going right into layout. That never happens!

Today, need to interview a couple of people for a company newsletter. Then, yesterday, out of the blue, someone I’d written an article for months ago needs another one written — due Thursday!

Everything is due this week and Monday. Had planned to visit my mother in Jeff City for her 94th birthday this weekend. Hope I can get everything done in time to go Saturday, but in case I can’t, I’ve had a lovely FTD bouquet sent to her on Friday, her actual birthday.

Hope everything is going well for you, whoever you are. Now, back to work. Or lunch. Yes, definitely, lunch first, to fortify me for those interviews.

BTW, if you have any projects you’ve been sitting on for awhile, get off them and call me. I’ll fit your project in next week. Promise!

Ciao!

Someone posted that question on a writers’ LinkedIn group, and here’s my response:

Can’t decide which job of mine was worst. Working for [name of prominent religious organization in KC] and having to stop for a prayer/sermon twice a day was pretty bad. Two other sinners and I would go to the snack area downstairs on our breaks, smoke about a million cigarettes and complain.

Worse, though, was a short-lived copywriting job with a very small (seven employees), now-defunct consumer packaged-goods agency in KC. The owner/head AE had said before hiring me and my art partner that he wanted “good creative.” He beetled his brows at me when I was sitting at my typewriter (yes, it was that long ago) gazing at a blank sheet of paper. He’d ask the people in the outer office, “What’s she DOING in there?” Later, I realized there was no need for “thinking,” which is that thing I was doing. “Good creative” to him was an ad that looked just like one from a file cabinet full of P&G coupon ads he had collected while he worked at P&G. He fired me on my birthday, which was a fitting gift.

Oh, wait! It was MUCH worse working at Bozell in Omaha. But that’s a long, gut-wrenching story for another time. Preferably at a bar.