Kansas City Freelance Writer Liz Craig

The current Miracle Whip TV campaign features Jersey-style hate for the mayonnaisey, yet sweet, product.

It appears that Miracle Whip is playing on the generally accepted fact that there are “Mayo people” and there are “Miracle Whip” people, and never the twain shall meet. Each thinks the other’s fave sandwich spread is yucky. It probably has to do with which one your mom used to make tuna salad.

But this TV spot features Pauly D, who hates Miracle Whip and anyone who likes it. Huh? Does that hatred inspire brand loyalty among MW lovers? Make them feel defensive, so they clutch MW to their collective bosom to shield it from Hellmann’s bullies?

The commercial encourages mayo lovers to taste MW to see if they really do hate it. The last time I tasted it was when I was about ten years old. I still remember the shock, disappointment and anger I felt when I took that first bite of my friend’s mom’s tuna salad sandwich. It was a terrible situation: I was famished, and I love tuna salad, but this tuna salad had been RUINED by the sweet, sticky, overpowering flavor of Miracle Whip. I was a Hellmann’s kid and had never tasted this other stuff before. I reacted like a baby tasting creamed spinach for the first time. Except I didn’t spit it out, because my mother taught me to be polite. The fact that the MW brand has remained popular to this day isn’t so much a miracle as a mystery to me.

In like fashion, Brits love a certain bread spread called Vegemite. It’s concentrated yeast extract in a jar. Mmm! To the Vegemite virgin, it tastes like something that ought to be used to lubricate machinery and have a label warning of dire consequences if you ingest it. But the Brits gobble it by the gallon (or the litre) every year. Apparently, they even use it under their eyes when they play rugby. And down their… well, never mind.

And on this side of the pond, how about White Castle burgers, better known as “sliders?” Briefly, there was a White Castle nearby. White Castle was exotic and new to me. When it opened, I rushed over and ordered a bag of sliders. With the first savor of burger number one, what impressed me most was how little meat and how much cheese and grease was packed between those eensy buns. I imagined the goo oozing its way through my arteries, toward my aorta. I threw the rest of the sliders and the oil-soaked bag away. Amazingly, these tiny death-bombs are so popular that for fans who aren’t near a White Castle, there are sliders in the grocery store freezer case. Go figger.

But back to the Miracle Whip versus Hellmann’s or Kraft controversy. The MW commercial casts aspersions on people who like Miracle Whip, yet it’s a commercial FOR Miracle Whip. This is a radical twist on the traditional approach, which is to show happy people smiling as they tuck into whatever foodstuff is being promoted. In that sense, the commercial is refreshing. There isn’t a single “bite and smile” shot in it. But will it sell Miracle Whip? I imagine it’s aimed at younger audience members (What are they now, Gen Y or Gen Z?) who are skeptical of anything pushed at them via TV in the traditional way. This message is ironic, edgy and unexpected. So who knows, that may be the recipe for Miracle Whip success.

But as I said, I think preferences are based on what you’re raised with. I say if you’re a MW person, you’re going to use it as always. If you’re a mayo person, you’re not. What do you think?

Here’s a great article about how to keep them awake, involved and interested.

Before I tell you my fave spots, let me register my discontent with the eagerly anticipated (by me) e*trade baby spot.

Unlike the edgy, irreverent baby in the “Golf” spot (Love that kid!), this baby was downright cuddly and sweet. He told how he and his tailor (!), a nice old Italian gentleman (Antonio!), were both doing well on e*trade and ended by patting him on the cheek and shushing him with a chubby forefinger.

NO! The baby’s gotta have edge! I call this commercial epic fail! Are we so sensitized to name-calling and rudeness now that we can’t use them for comic purposes? Shame, because there goes half of the comedy lexicon.

Others in the ad world think differently (the dummies who tapped the Bud Light spots as the best), but to my mind, the VW commercials were light-years ahead of the rest. And the best VW commercial was “The Force,” starring a tyke in a Darth Vader costume trying his Force on exercise machinery, the dog, even a baby doll, all to no avail. The kid is really bummed ’til his dad helps him out by secretly starting the Passat in the driveway via a remote starter. Funny, charming, and effective. Who could ask for anything more?

The Ad Contrarian brings you shocking information about advertising, TV viewing and buying habits.

Okay, I’ll give you one of them: banner ads DON’T WORK. (Oh, man, I must have written a thousand banner ads for Hallmark.)

But you knew that already, right? Because you never click on banner ads. Not even if there’s a half-dressed girl gyrating above a mortgage outfit’s sell message. What are those guys (You know they must be guys.) selling, anyhow, half-dressed girls or mortgages?

There’s more, lots more. So click the link, already.

Sock monkey and his friends take a fun-filled road trip from Las Vegas to NYC in a new Kia Sorento. Love the sock monkey riding a mechanical bull and getting a tatto sewn on. Music is by The Heavy, “How You LIke Me Now.” The spot’s humor drives home the selling message: Hey, you can cut loose and have a ball when you have a 2011 Kia Sorento! Imagine it targets older teens or early 20s, though almost anyone this side of 70 would enjoy the fun these toys are having.

Another 2011 Sorento ad features a family traveling through a forest mysteriously furnished with framed family photographs, furniture and fixtures. Tag line: “Feel at home wherever you go.” It’s okay but much more laid-back than the monkeyshines spot. Aimed at families with kids, apparently.

What about the sock monkey spot? How you like it now?

Back in my improvisational comedy days, I directed actors, “Don’t tell the story; be the story.” Meaning, don’t verbalize that you’re an overcooked stalk of asparagus; be it completely, and let the audience see, hear and feel it. Let your body droop, your voice sound “limp,” and say words an overcooked asparagus stalk might say. Like, “Boy, am I ever steamed…” Okay, maybe not, but you get the idea.

Most TV commercials are of the “tell the story” type. Few let you experience what it would feel like to use their product. Admittedly, that’s pretty hard to convey via TV. But there’s one TV campaign that does it — brilliantly. The 2010 Prius “Generation 3″ campaign, via Saatchi & Sattchi, LA, themed “Harmony between man, nature and machine.” Take a look:

An all-white landscape waves, bends, and as the Prius passes, transforms into lush green fields, blooming flowers, and leafy trees. Everything moves in synch with the car. On second or third viewing (if you have a small TV screen, as do I), you realize everything in the frame, except the Prius, is a human being. Some are dressed in grass green, others in buttercup yellow or tree trunk brown. Some have flower petal collars, some wear furry blue wigs. Still others, dressed all in white, move languidly like cumulus clouds across the brilliant blue sky. Blue-clad people form a fast-flowing waterfall. A toddler with pink wings floats by, a charming butterfly.

Digital technology perfects the vision of the Prius spots’ ever-moving countryside, composed of 200 extras, multiplied to create one million.

The choreography is wonderfully organic. The campaign’s strong concept and superb execution not only embody “green” values but also make you feel terrific. You want to get that car to get that feeling. The fact that the Prius is earth-friendly is important, but it’s the emotion that bonds us to the brand.

At the commercials’ website, you can see a video about the making of the “Harmony” commercial. Go there, and you can view the other two spots and download an MP3 file of the music from all three commercials, including the intro spot’s “Let Your Love Flow,” by Petra Haden.

As a tyke, my favorite Little Golden Book was “The Happy Man and His Dump Truck,” in which a jolly man took some farm animals out for a fun little jaunt in his truck. Watching these Prius spots for the first time, I re-experienced the joy that story gave me: the feeling that the world was a place where everyone got along harmoniously and was friendly and happy. I was just a carefree little kid, and the 24-hour news cycle hadn’t even been invented. What a great time to be alive! I ask you, who doesn’t want to recapture that youthful optimism and innocence? These spots do it for me.

Beyond that, all I can say is, “Wow.”

Haven’t you always wanted to be surrounded by hundreds of orange-clad dancers making YOU the center of an elaborate dance routine? If so, you’ll love the new Palm Pre spot. It is all about YOU, or rather, a strange woman apparently meant to stand in for you, effortlessly controlling her world by using her brand-new Palm Pre. And for no apparent reason, being danced around by a whole bunch of people in orange outfits.

In the introductory TV spot, an otherworldly girl
wanders over to a big rock in the middle of a green field, then climbs atop it to fiddle with her Pre. Instantly, a human mandala of hundreds of dancers in orange Japanese outfits encircle the girl and begin doing a large-scale routine. Hey, are these the “Thriller”-dancing Phillipine prisoners? Or maybe monks with AFTRA cards?

From far overhead, then, we see the swirling dancers creating various symmetrical formations around the girl on her rock, ala Busby Berkeley, only without the sexy legs. Finally, we return to ground level to see the girl, Pre and big rock, the dancers gone. The girl’s voiceover talks about all the lives of … what the heck is she talking about? as she pushes different images across the screen of the Pre. I gather it’s something about “flow.”

A grandiose production number like this would look right at home in “The Last Emperor,” but for the introduction of a dumbed-down iPhone?

Then there’s the principal talent. I don’t know what she’s supposed to be. Pale, nearly featureless, wearing a sliplike garment of no-color, her golden hair pinned up on the back of her head in a shape resembling The Visible Man’s intestines.

I would love to have been in the room when this concept was presented. Then maybe I’d understand it. I sure don’t get it from watching the commercial.

Now there’s another Palm Pre commercial featuring the same woman. No dancers, just the woman, the digestive tract hairdo, the face of the Pre, and the greenscape background. Did she just say, “reincarnation??” Oh, I get it. We all have various connections, wear various hats, have different organizations and all. And the Pre can help us keep track of them. But that message could apply to the iPhone as well as the Pre. Advertising 101 says you have to have a meaningful point of difference from your competitor. Not just weird commercials. And these certainly qualify as weird.