Liz Craig, Writer

Any number of things may nix your chances of getting hired for a job that’s right up your alley. Here are seven of them. But of course, you wouldn’t be dumb enough to pull any of these stunts, would you? Hmm. Better read them.

But no matter how well you behave when interviewing, there’s one thing your qualifications and experience cannot trump: age.

Judging from the number of highly qualified “mature people” (i.e., people over age 35) I know who are seeking and not finding jobs, I think there’s a devilish something at play called “IWM,” or “Interviewing While Mature.” And unless you have a total body and face lift and start ending all your sentences with, like, a question mark?, IWM may be a factor.

During those years you were acquiring priceless knowledge, practicing what you’d learned, and racking up glowing reviews from co-workers, clients and bosses, the aging process was proceeding apace, indifferent to your desire to stop it at age 26. So ironically, as you became more qualified to be a “hit-the-ground-running” employee with a good work ethic, you became less desirable to employers who think it’s scary to hire mature workers. What is the fear?

Just guessing here, but they may have some weird ideas about “mature people,” like:

• They might be old dogs who can’t (or won’t) learn new tricks?

What, in your ignorance, do you hope to prove by this childish exercise?

• They probably want too much money?
• Their Depends might leak on the plush conference room chairs?
• They might not respect their twenty-something co-workers — or bosses?
• They might actually know something and make others look bad?
• They might raise the cost of group health insurance?
• They might not enjoy carousing with the gang after work and playing beer pong?
• They might enjoy carousing with the gang after work?
• They might start reminiscing about how cool it was seeing Abba in concert?

I oughta scrub yer mouth out with lye soap!

• They might purse their lips like a prissy school-marm and rebuke a “young person” for using coarse language? (Get real. Most “mature people” could win a cussin’ contest wrinkly hands down.)
• They might be grumpy? (You would be, too, if your Depends started leaking during an important team meeting!)

Sure, new graduates are having a hard time finding jobs, too, but they can live with their parents and work at Mickey D’s until things loosen up. A mature person usually can’t do that. Mom’s nursing home room is way too small, and sooner or later, the staff will notice you in the closet and ask you to leave.

If you are a mature job-seeker, you can’t do anything about your age. But you don’t have to blurt it right out, either. Potential employers (or HR people) are not, by law, allowed to ask you your age. But they have some sneaky ways of worming it out of you, so I recommend reading this article, “Five Ways to Avoid Disclosing Your Age in an Interview.”

Or, as I mentioned, there’s the total body and face lift option…

Art & Copy Club has a contest to beat Don Draper’s pathetic attempt at a new ad for Jantzen two-piece swim suits. Here’s mine: Jantzen2pieceLayout

Ever find yourself nodding as someone droned on and on without getting to the point — or the end of his or her remarks? Apparently, it’s a serious problem that’s cutting Chinese productivity.

Quote from an article in today’s KC Star:

“Chinese officials say they want to clean up a pollution scourge that is fouling the capital and government centers nationwide: bureaucratic gasbags.”

I’ve puzzled over this for quite some time and finally figured it out. The term, “copywriter” is obsolete at most companies. The new term is “content creator.”

Not sure I like it. Sounds like somebody who creates something you weigh by the pound, like chicken livers.

“So what am I, chopped liver???”

No, these days, I am a “content creator.” I just finished creating some for my best client’s corporate website. Once the site goes live, I’ll let you know.

I imagine the term “content creator” was created by Web techs who only know there’s a hole in the Web design that needs to be filled. Copy? Oh, sure. Or a graphic, video clip or an affiliate ad. Whatever’s handy. Before someone chews my face off for putting down those marvelously smart beings who know their way around a motherboard and other things I don’t even know names for — I am not putting them down. They have their departments, and copy– I mean, “content creators” have theirs. They’re different departments, but when they mesh harmoniously, the results are very cool.

But copy is important. The information, the language, the connotations and denotations of the words, the way an idea is presented, and on the Web, especially, the brevity. Knowing how to use language effectively is the job of a copywriter, whatever new descriptor is in style at the moment.

Shoot, I’ve spent lots of time getting to the top of the Google rankings when you search “Kansas City freelance copywriter.” Now should I start at zero with “Kansas City freelance content creator?” Hmm. It doesn’t exactly sing, does it?

In a recent post, I bemoaned the passing of brand characters — like Charlie the Tuna and so on. But it seems all that bemoaning was for naught. ‘Cause brand characters are still with us. Like the Brawny Man, whom I savaged in an earlier post.

Do the Sonic guys count as brand characters? They’re certainly characters who tout Sonic as a brand. But do they represent the qualities of Sonic, or the intended audience?

Anyhow, apparently, AdCracker thinks it’s worth thinking about creating a brand character for your next ad campaign. Ad campaign? What’s that? I thought everybody was doing social media instead. Warning: sidetrack ahead!

I was talking with my friend, a brilliant young Web guy, the other night, and we both had recently read articles that said traditional advertising was making a comeback. Seems a lot of companies have tried to “move the merch” (as we hip people say) with social media and found it didn’t work. I commented that most companies don’t know how to do social media effectively. Then my friend astonished me by saying, with a twinkle in his eye, “Aha! But do you know of any social media campaigns that ARE effective?”

This pierced young fellow knows every trick there is on the Web. So I was shocked to hear him say such a thing. It seemed almost sacrilegious. You mean… the emperor has no clothes? If so, that’s going to crush the dreams of all those people making lotsa loot teaching clients how to do social media marketing. And, of course, the clients’.

Okay, what do I know about social media? Only that blogging on your website frequently and relevantly will get you higher Google rankings (unless they’ve changed their criteria yet again). But social media campaigns on Facebook and Twitter that actually sold stuff? I don’t know. I’m eager to hear of some.

Lately, political candidates are jumping on social media like crazy. I can’t tell you how many “friend” invites I’ve gotten from Kansas candidates who either want my money or my vote in the general election. But will it work to get elected? I’m skeptical.

The way Roy Blunt won the primary in Missouri was by old-fashioned political wheeler-dealer tactics and some good ol’ finagling, flim-flamming and back-slapping. He talked several people out of running for certain offices and cleared the road for his own campaign bus to roll to victory.

‘Course, Blunt has influence and name recognition. Something most new candidates don’t. So Facebook is as good a place as any for a new candidate to start. Cheap, quick, what’s not to like? Maybe the time it takes to post news and updates several times a day, when you could be out meeting the voters?

Unfortunately for our political system, advertising placement in newspapers and magazines has gotten tres cher. So only the established candidates with rich donors can afford to advertise. It perpetuates the tenure of some electees (like Blunt) who ought to be heaved out on their extremist cans.

Oops, I digress. Even from my sidetrack. Sorry. Back to the original subject.

But since we are talking about brand characters here, and politics, what about Michael Steele? Is he the perfect brand character for the national GOP, or what? He doesn’t give a fig for rules or ethics. Whoop-de-doo! Michael is making hay while the sun shines! This guy has violated historic tacit understandings nobody in that job before him would have thought of violating. Like the one that the head of the party isn’t supposed to be running around the country grabbing gunny sacks full of money for public appearances. Let alone publishing a book without letting ANYBODY IN THE PARTY know about it beforehand! He’s sneaky, greedy, underhanded and glib and doesn’t have a clue what the he-double-toothpicks he’s talking about. The perfect GOP brand symbol.

It’s nice to know some outfit still knows how to create one.

The rules on punctuation in written sentences are pretty clear (though there are personal preferences on placement of commas and such). But when it comes to logos, those symbols and words meant to convey a brand image, the rules sail right out the window.

I was not aware of AOL’s change to “Aol.” until I read this article. I’d love to have been in the room when that momentous decision was made. Did they argue passionately over the capital “A” versus a lower-case one? Were there conference room fistfights over adding the period? Is this logo change a Band-Aid to repair their wounded brand image? If so, I don’t think it’s big enough. Here’s a YouTube video about it:

When there’s a period at the end of a logo, it seems to imply THIS product is the only one that matters. The only one you need. If that’s the idea, AOL should be jailed for felonious period abuse. AOL is the one ISP you definitely do not need. Having had infuriating set-tos with various “customer service” people at AOL for years (The Early Years), I’d be giddy with joy if the period meant the end of AOL, or aol. Which, if I wanted to be snarky, I’d say should be “Ahol.” But no. I’m moving on.

When you insert any punctuation into a logo, you’re taking a risk that either (a) it will look dumb; or (b) will be taken ironically. For instance, an exclamation point, that poor, overworked symbol meant to convey excitement, can either be fun, sad, or baffling, depending on the company. Just imagine the logo, “M!crosoft.”

Choosing a logo is a serious matter, because if it’s emblazoned on your stationery, business cards, store sign, advertising and everything else, it’s going to cost a fortune to change. You’ll notice that when established companies update their logos, they only futz with it a little. They’ll change the hue slightly, add a swash or take it away, something like that. Nothing that might shock or confuse loyal customers.

People like, or at least get used to, the logo of a company they patronize. Changing it radically could have the effect of snatching away the sweet little brown teddy bear your child clings to at bedtime and substituting a snarling grizzly bear plush critter. “Yaaaagh! Where’s my teddy?!” (Note proper use of exclamation point.)

I must confess that the reason I don’t have a logo is that I can’t figure out what it might be. When I was identifying myself with my company, LizardPro Creative, Inc., it was pretty easy to design a logo for my stationery and biz cards. Oh, I changed the style of the lizard about seven times, but there was no parakeet or roach or any other animal. But “Liz Craig, Writer?” I got some business cards that have a pen and paper, but even that isn’t right, because I’ve been using a computer for so long, I can hardly write legibly anymore. But enough about me.

If you want a good designer to create a strong, timeless logo, you can expect to pay more than those “Your logo for $50!!!” (Note incorrect use of exclamation points.) guys who advertise in Google AdWords. Sure, even I could give you some kind of a logo for $50, but what would it look like? If you don’t care, there’s even a website where you can glom one of their prefab logos for cheap and stick it on your company name. If your company is called Bland & Meaningless, Inc., I suppose one of those would do.

Looking at an exquisitely simple logo, you might think, “Why, my teenaged kid could have done that in three seconds.” Well, so did the designer. But that was after days and weeks of gathering information, discussing it with the client, trying different colors, styles and layouts. So the cost of a great logo is not all for that final splat on paper. It’s for the think time, and the experience, sensitivity, taste, judgment and skill of the designer.

Okay, someone’s going to bring up the Nike “swoosh.” Folklore has it that a Portland art student quickly whipped out the swash in a moment of inspiration. And “Just do it” was an offhand comment the founder heard. That’s swell. But the brilliant part is that someone recognized the swash as a timeless symbol, and “Just do it” as an elegantly simple statement that expressed the heart and soul of Nike. (See true history of the “swoosh.”) That hardly ever happens. More times than not, a client will want the designer to crank out dozens or hundreds of “ideas” to choose from, when the best one by far obviously was in the first six presented. The same applies to taglines, by the way. Hence, the high cost of logos (and taglines). Design and writing hours cost money.

So what do you think of the punctuation in and style of some of the logos in the article I linked above? Send your thoughts, and suggest a logo or two you really like or hate.

Here’s another one of Guy Kawasaki’s five tips for personal branding success (again quoting from that BNET blog post I linked to in my last post):

Make Meaning, Not Money. If you’re into personal branding with the goal of making money, stop now. You will attract the wrong kind of people into your life. Instead, start with the goal of making meaning. What better way to align all your actions with your long-term goals. What kind of meaning will you make? Kawasaki suggests two ideas for inspiration: 1) right a wrong, or 2) prevent the end of something good. What will you do to make the world a better place?

“Life is empty and meaningless, and it doesn’t mean anything that life is empty and meaningless.”

Guy Kawasaki didn’t say that. The leader of my Forum weekend did. That’s the first cosmic two-by-four that hit me in the head at The Forum, an introduction to the Landmark Education curriculum. It sounds pretty bleak, doesn’t it? But all it’s really saying is that life has no inherent meaning — it’s a fresh, new canvas you can paint any way you want. Whatever the meaning in your life is, you choose it. You create it. You live it.

Early in my career, my life was all about getting together a great portfolio and winning creative awards so I could get more money at the next agency where I worked. These days, of course, I still need money, but winning awards is no longer what gives my life meaning. What does, though, is being in integrity with my own values and helping people create their own successes.

There’s more to meaning than what you do for a living. There’s the spiritual thrill that comes from seeing a great work of art or hearing a Mozart concerto played by splendid musicians. The warm feeling that bubbles up when you’re giggling with a toddler. The expansive feeling when you’re admiring the beauty of mountains or the ocean. The satisfaction you feel savoring a superbly prepared meal. Or the tender love you feel for your parent, your child, your mate, or your best friend. All of this has meaning on a personal scale.

On a broader scale, working for a cause in which you believe can imbue your life with tremendous meaning and the feeling that you’re making the world a better place. You might teach someone to read, coach a kids’ softball team, join an organization that champions the rights of the disabled, work for candidates whose views you share, join the choir at church, or serve on the City Council.

To me, the greatest exemplar of meaning-making is Mohandas Gandhi. His long-term goal was “to become a complete zero.” That meant reducing his ego desires to zero and acting as a purely selfless human being. He held no elected office and sought no fame, yet world leaders sought his counsel, and he commanded tremendous power — through nonviolent civil disobedience — to lead the Indian people in a symbolically important strike against the salt tax imposed by Great Britain. See the 1982 movie, if you haven’t before. Wow. Did he ever give his life — and the lives of his countrymen — meaning! Gandhi died in 1948, having lived to see India achieve independence the previous year.

Gandhi righted a wrong — the exploitation of the Indian people by Great Britain — and made the world a better place by peaceful means. Probably none of us will become the meaning-maker Gandhi was, but all of us, in our own ways, create meaning in our lives.

What gives your life meaning? I’d love to hear from you.

If there’s anyone in the world who knows a thing or two about personal branding, it’s Guy Kawasaki. He’s written a book called “The Art of the Start,” in which he suggests five principles of successful personal branding.

One of them, quoted in a BNET blog post, particularly intrigued me:

Make a Mantra. In three words or less, what are you all about? Kawasaki believes that mission statements are useless. He says, make a mantra instead. FedEx stands for “peace of mind.” What do you stand for, in the simplest terms?

At networking events, people are asked to give their “elevator speeches” or 30-second commercials. Most people describe what they do for a living. But a mantra is not about what you DO; it’s about what you’re ABOUT.

Okay, what you do is sell life insurance. But maybe what you’re about is “helping families be financially secure.” Or maybe your mantra is about an even higher level of consciousness, like, “to embody the peace I wish to see in the world.” That mantra, if it’s truly what you’re about, will infuse your every action and thought with an intention to create peace. The more meaningful your mantra is to you, the more you will internalize and reflect it.

When I was working in community theater, which I loved, my mantra was “creating community.” The community theater experience brought together everyday people, some with acting training, some without, some with family and social connections, some without, to put on a show. And as they worked together, they made fast friends. And they found that their contribution, as small or large as it might be, was valued. By working together, they could complete a puzzle with real meaning. That truly inspired me.

Now, what is my mantra? Well, right now, it’s “creating a lovely home” — for someone else, a potential buyer. I’ll keep mulling over my essential mantra during the process.

Can you get your life’s mission down to a mantra of three or fewer words? Try it. You’ll deepen your understanding of yourself and strengthen your presence in the world.

“I never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

Sock monkey and his friends take a fun-filled road trip from Las Vegas to NYC in a new Kia Sorento. Love the sock monkey riding a mechanical bull and getting a tatto sewn on. Music is by The Heavy, “How You LIke Me Now.” The spot’s humor drives home the selling message: Hey, you can cut loose and have a ball when you have a 2011 Kia Sorento! Imagine it targets older teens or early 20s, though almost anyone this side of 70 would enjoy the fun these toys are having.

Another 2011 Sorento ad features a family traveling through a forest mysteriously furnished with framed family photographs, furniture and fixtures. Tag line: “Feel at home wherever you go.” It’s okay but much more laid-back than the monkeyshines spot. Aimed at families with kids, apparently.

What about the sock monkey spot? How you like it now?