Any number of things may nix your chances of getting hired for a job that’s right up your alley. Here are seven of them. But of course, you wouldn’t be dumb enough to pull any of these stunts, would you? Hmm. Better read them.

But no matter how well you behave when interviewing, there’s one thing your qualifications and experience cannot trump: age.

Judging from the number of highly qualified “mature people” (i.e., people over age 35) I know who are seeking and not finding jobs, I think there’s a devilish something at play called “IWM,” or “Interviewing While Mature.” And unless you have a total body and face lift and start ending all your sentences with, like, a question mark?, IWM may be a factor.

During those years you were acquiring priceless knowledge, practicing what you’d learned, and racking up glowing reviews from co-workers, clients and bosses, the aging process was proceeding apace, indifferent to your desire to stop it at age 26. So ironically, as you became more qualified to be a “hit-the-ground-running” employee with a good work ethic, you became less desirable to employers who think it’s scary to hire mature workers. What is the fear?

Just guessing here, but they may have some weird ideas about “mature people,” like:

• They might be old dogs who can’t (or won’t) learn new tricks?

What, in your ignorance, do you hope to prove by this childish exercise?

• They probably want too much money?
• Their Depends might leak on the plush conference room chairs?
• They might not respect their twenty-something co-workers — or bosses?
• They might actually know something and make others look bad?
• They might raise the cost of group health insurance?
• They might not enjoy carousing with the gang after work and playing beer pong?
• They might enjoy carousing with the gang after work?
• They might start reminiscing about how cool it was seeing Abba in concert?

I oughta scrub yer mouth out with lye soap!

• They might purse their lips like a prissy school-marm and rebuke a “young person” for using coarse language? (Get real. Most “mature people” could win a cussin’ contest wrinkly hands down.)
• They might be grumpy? (You would be, too, if your Depends started leaking during an important team meeting!)

Sure, new graduates are having a hard time finding jobs, too, but they can live with their parents and work at Mickey D’s until things loosen up. A mature person usually can’t do that. Mom’s nursing home room is way too small, and sooner or later, the staff will notice you in the closet and ask you to leave.

If you are a mature job-seeker, you can’t do anything about your age. But you don’t have to blurt it right out, either. Potential employers (or HR people) are not, by law, allowed to ask you your age. But they have some sneaky ways of worming it out of you, so I recommend reading this article, “Five Ways to Avoid Disclosing Your Age in an Interview.”

Or, as I mentioned, there’s the total body and face lift option…

Ever find yourself nodding as someone droned on and on without getting to the point — or the end of his or her remarks? Apparently, it’s a serious problem that’s cutting Chinese productivity.

Yadda yadda yadda...

Quote from an article in today’s KC Star:

“Chinese officials say they want to clean up a pollution scourge that is fouling the capital and government centers nationwide: bureaucratic gasbags.”

I’ve puzzled over this for quite some time and finally figured it out. The term, “copywriter” is obsolete at most companies. The new term is “content creator.”

Not sure I like it. Sounds like somebody who creates something you weigh by the pound, like chicken livers.

“So what am I, chopped liver???”

No, these days, I am a “content creator.” I just finished creating some for my best client’s corporate website. Once the site goes live, I’ll let you know.

I imagine the term “content creator” was created by Web techs who only know there’s a hole in the Web design that needs to be filled. Copy? Oh, sure. Or a graphic, video clip or an affiliate ad. Whatever’s handy. Before someone chews my face off for putting down those marvelously smart beings who know their way around a motherboard and other things I don’t even know names for — I am not putting them down. They have their departments, and copy– I mean, “content creators” have theirs. They’re different departments, but when they mesh harmoniously, the results are very cool.

But copy is important. The information, the language, the connotations and denotations of the words, the way an idea is presented, and on the Web, especially, the brevity. Knowing how to use language effectively is the job of a copywriter, whatever new descriptor is in style at the moment.

Shoot, I’ve spent lots of time getting to the top of the Google rankings when you search “Kansas City freelance copywriter.” Now should I start at zero with “Kansas City freelance content creator?” Hmm. It doesn’t exactly sing, does it?

“I never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

Sock monkey and his friends take a fun-filled road trip from Las Vegas to NYC in a new Kia Sorento. Love the sock monkey riding a mechanical bull and getting a tatto sewn on. Music is by The Heavy, “How You LIke Me Now.” The spot’s humor drives home the selling message: Hey, you can cut loose and have a ball when you have a 2011 Kia Sorento! Imagine it targets older teens or early 20s, though almost anyone this side of 70 would enjoy the fun these toys are having.

Another 2011 Sorento ad features a family traveling through a forest mysteriously furnished with framed family photographs, furniture and fixtures. Tag line: “Feel at home wherever you go.” It’s okay but much more laid-back than the monkeyshines spot. Aimed at families with kids, apparently.

What about the sock monkey spot? How you like it now?

If you’re like me, you get dozens of e-mails, newsletters and notices in your Inbox every day. You’re on every social media vehicle, from LinkedIn to Plaxo to Twitter and Facebook. I have at least three e-mail accounts, and I write three blogs. Does it ever get to you? I mean, all the “keeping up with” you have to do?

Well, it gets to me.

You can’t not be on these things, but dang, they’re time-suckers. A person has to have time to do paying work, not just check the Inbox every 20 minutes to delete messages to avoid being buried in e-mail. And these are messages I WANTED. Like the NY Times twice-daily news update. Twitter messages (If Guy Kawasaki doesn’t quit tweeting, I’m dropping him.). Minutes from a meeting. Stuff I need to pay attention to.

But as I was saying, if you’re like me, you may be fed up with social media. I’m a Boomer, so I figure there must be millions of other Boomers who are fed up, too.

Here’s my prediction for 2011: Enough people will be fed up with social media that they’ll start meeting face-to-face with friends, family and clients. Yes. It will come to that.

Remember that old out-of-fashion thing called “conversation?” Not tweets or e-mails or Facebook blurbs? but an ongoing exchange of verbal messages, accompanied by real facial expressions instead of emoticons, conducted while the parties thereto are in the same room?

I have hundreds of “friends” on all these social media, but how often do I do friend things with them? Almost never. Unless I go to a Meetup, another social media-driven thing. I joined a Board Games Meetup, and if I ever go, it should be real person-to-person fun.

In 2011, when social media dies and F2F becomes the new thing, remember you heard it here first.

Why should we build our personal brands? So when someone hears our name, they instantly think, “Ah, that’s the person who (does or is something specific).” Like, “Ah, Jane Frogge. She’s the one who helped my friend get a job last fall.” Or, “Ah, John Jantsch, that’s the guy who created Duct Tape Marketing.” Or, “Susan Gorman, she’s the one who pitched in to help with my son’s bake sale for Haiti relief.”

Oscar Wilde said, “The only bad publicity is an obituary.” But short of that, there are plenty of so-so or unfocused (even negative) “reviews” of you out there for people to hear, unless you’re consciously building your personal brand around positive attributes, accomplishments, or emotional values. What value can you be to others? That’s the question your personal branding should answer.

In this article, seven experts share their secrets for building their personal brands. Well worth reading.

On the other hand, I have a love-hate relationship with the word, “branding.” So many people use it to mean “a logo.” But it’s so much more than that. In this article, Josh Kaufman says “branding” is an overrated buzzword. But then he offers several tips as to how to improve your reputation, which is really what it’s all about.

Most advertising agencies are honest and trustworthy. But there are some whose attitude is, “Rules? We don’t need no stinkin’ rules!”

Name that movie for 10 points.

You can hire one freelancer — either a designer or a writer — or a team to get your project done. Call me for writing projects or referrals to professional designers, project managers and media planning freelancers I can recommend.

Weird unrelenting Arctic weather, weird and disquieting disconnect between the ever-rising Dow and the still-stagnant economy, and personally, weird since I’m not working in my home office as usual, but working on-site on some client projects.

I hate being away from the animals, but I enjoy the toasty warmth of the company cubicle, versus the drafty cold of my office.

I’m still open for new projects… so if you need writing help, be sure to call.

Brrrr.