Kansas City Freelance Writer Liz Craig

“Liz Craig is wicked smart and a wizard with words. Do your brand a favor and hire her.”
— Joleen K David on Jul 28, 2011

When I moved to Omaha in 1985, I worked as an Associate Creative Director for 19 hellish months at Bozell & Jacobs. I won’t go into detail, but let me say I was not the only creative there who was suffering the slings and arrows of an outrageous GM who crumbled and ate writers and art directors for breakfast like Frosted Mini-Wheats. Nearly everyone in the creative department was taking Xanax, seeing shrinks, or nurturing ulcers.

So it was a sweet relief to be let go during a mass layoff. My art director partner and I rolled our stuff out to the parking lot in a mail cart, and we laughed and laughed and laughed at our great good fortune to have been set free from whatever ring of Dante’s Inferno we’d been inhabiting.

I took the next couple of months off enjoying Thanksgiving and Christmas, and glory be! in January, I got hired at a local ad agency called Smith Kaplan Allen & Reynolds, aka SKAR. My colleague and head of the writers was the kind of woman some women might hate because they’re jealous. A delightfully smart, funny, gorgeous woman named Joleen. I respected her in every way—for her brains, for her client savvy, for her superb strategic thinking and writing, and most of all, for her wacky sense of humor.

These days, we keep in touch via email, and I’ve been back a couple of times to see her and the agency. As the daughter of Wayne Smith, the Smith in Smith Kaplan, now she’s heading up the agency. Under her guidance, the place has been transformed from what was a rather dowdy cubicle city to a cool, sleek, inviting haven for some of the best creatives in the Midwest. Joleen is a natural leader/innovator, and she follows the David Ogilvy philosophy of trying to hire people who are smarter than she is. Which is nearly impossible. But she finds good people and draws the very best out of them.

So thanks, Joleen, for the great recommendation, so many years since I ended my 10-year stint at SKAR., Sometimes I wish I’d stayed, but Kansas City lured me back home, and 15 years and three agencies later, here I am, happily freelancing and recalling the good people and good times at SKAR.

Joleen, I hope you continue to have fun, make money, and always remember me. I’ll remember you, I promise.

Back in my agency days, our clients were large corporations who had CFOs and accounting departments taking care of their books. Today, as a freelance writer in Kansas City, I’m often trying to help small business owners whose staff is limited to a handful of people. And maybe they don’t have an accountant, or even Quickbooks to keep them on track.

When small business owners ask me, “Can you give us a business plan?” I have to say, “That’s not my specialty,” and refer them to the Kansas Small Business Development Center. There’s one office located at Johnson County Community College, in case you’re interested.

The KSBDC is a largely unknown entity funded by the State of Kansas specifically to help small businesses get their act together.

They have counselors and advisors there who can help you see where you are, where you want to go, and how to get there. Their help could range from helping you create a business plan to figuring out how to drive more traffic to your website.

I’ve referred two small business owners there. One has gone to classes there to learn about business plans, marketing his business, and more. The other is still too busy doing his own business to take time out and go to the KSBDC for advice.

That’s a problem for small business owners. Many are not only doing whatever it is their business is about, but also trying to run their business, from accounting to maintenance to marketing.

I can’t help you with accounting or maintenance, but I can help you find the right person to help you with them. I know a QuickBooks pro, for example, who helped one client see the financial landscape of his business for the first time in 15 years.

And as far as marketing your business goes, if you’re a small business person, that’s just one thing at which you’re not a whiz that you may be trying to do yourself. You justify it by saying if you do it, it won’t cost you money. But is that really true?

If you generally charge clients $75 per hour for a service call (let’s say), and you spend five hours on a marketing effort, well, you’ve just cost yourself $375!

Why not let me help you with advertising, Web copy, brochures, or any other marketing effort you need? When you pay me the $75, you can be out earning the money to pay for it. And you’ll be a lot less frazzled by trying to do something that isn’t second nature to you.

If I can help you with writing, strategizing, researching or implementing your online, print or broadcast marketing plan, just give me a call at 913.236.7595. I’ll be glad to meet with you and see what you need and find a way to get it done.

Today, while working on Web copy, I felt the 90s collide with the 10s.

The Web designer, another Woman of a Certain Age, informed me that, though I had requested that she change “email” in some copy to “e-mail,” as I’d written it, the latter form was only popular in the 1990s, when “electronic mail” was new.

On my own, I’d lazily left out the hyphen and toyed with the idea of leaving it out permanently. Little did I know I was following a lot of other lazy, hyphen-hating lemmings over the language cliff’s edge. You know, that land where it’s “Whoopee! anything goes now!” That land where “snuck” is fine, instead of the correct “sneaked.” And “hung” is the word for a person who’s been executed by the rope-noose method, not a man who is… Oh, you know. Well, I don’t want to go to that land. Before I know it, I’ll be wearing verbal sweatsuits everywhere, belching loudly over my plate of escargots, and letting the house go to hell. It’s a swippewy swope, as Bennet Cerf used to say. (And if you remember him, you’re of a Certain Age, too.)

What’s your opinion? Is it still “e-mail” for you, or have you made the transition to the new, more compact (but suspicious-looking) “email?”

Here’s a great article about how to keep them awake, involved and interested.

In a previous post, I bemoaned the loss of the Ajax knight, Speedy Alka-Seltzer, and other personable brand symbols. These days, I lamented, we’re all too sophisticated to identify with such silly characters. But I was wrong. The Brawny paper towel man, a brand symbol since 1974, lives on, though he’s evolved over time.

Have you seen the new Brawny TV spot, or his image on the package lately? He looks like a gay teen’s dreamboat. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. For a funny take on this brand symbol’s evolution, see this blog post from 2004.

Wouldn’t you want your brand symbol to represent how strong and tough the product is? To me, a “brawny” guy reeks of testosterone, sweat and whiskey and is strong enough to uproot trees one-handed. “Brawny” this guy is not. Fer heaven’s sake, he’s wearing a white tee under his shirt that conceals any manly chest hair he might have! Women and gay teens protest!

Great balls of fire, this new TV spot is so lame I can hardly believe it. Take a look for yourself.

Did the Brawny brand people miss the boat on this one? Are gay teen boys really their target market? Or, as some have opined, do women who love the pictures on the covers of historical romance novels go for this type of clean-shaven, friendly, unthreatening hunk? IOW, a gay guy? The guys on those covers are brawny. And they have long, flowing locks, not the neat executive cut Mr. Brawny has.

And by the way, is the animation of him supposedly singing (ugh) as choppy as it looks to me? It’s like one of those foreign movies dubbed in English, where the lips and the words have nothing to do with each other.

Tell me, what do you think of the symbol and the advertising wisdom or idiocy of his look?

Sock monkey and his friends take a fun-filled road trip from Las Vegas to NYC in a new Kia Sorento. Love the sock monkey riding a mechanical bull and getting a tatto sewn on. Music is by The Heavy, “How You LIke Me Now.” The spot’s humor drives home the selling message: Hey, you can cut loose and have a ball when you have a 2011 Kia Sorento! Imagine it targets older teens or early 20s, though almost anyone this side of 70 would enjoy the fun these toys are having.

Another 2011 Sorento ad features a family traveling through a forest mysteriously furnished with framed family photographs, furniture and fixtures. Tag line: “Feel at home wherever you go.” It’s okay but much more laid-back than the monkeyshines spot. Aimed at families with kids, apparently.

What about the sock monkey spot? How you like it now?

The Geico “pothole” spot for emergency road repair always makes me giggle. Yeah, I like hick humor, okay? I hoot at “My Name is Earl,” Bill Engvall’s “There’s Your Sign” and Ron White’s “They Call Me Tater Salad,” too. I grew up in Mexico, MO, “Little Dixie,” so it can’t be helped.

But to salvage my cultural credentials, I also like Monty Python and Black Adder. And Restoration comedies. Well, some of them. Did that save my credentials or damage them further?

Ever since I saw the first Palm Pre TV spot, I’ve had a creepy feeling about that pale woman with the intestine-shaped hairdo and the monotonous voice. Turns out maybe I’m not alone.

This study finds people generally like the spots. In fact, they report feeling “inspiration” and “happiness.” But their interest flags noticeably when the spokeswoman is the key subject, or even when she turns to face them. Well, after all, what are they selling here, a girl or a smartphone? People are interested in the gadget, not the actress, no matter how bizarre she looks.

I wonder what thinking went into the design of this spokeswoman’s hair style, makeup and dress (I guess there’s a dress; the thin straps are all we can see). Is she supposed to be “simple,” like the Pre? Magical? Zenlike? Tranquilized? I’m stumped.

The actress’ preternatural calm is disturbing, like that of a serial killer or one of those pod people (how ironic!) from “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” I know I shouldn’t let my distaste for her bias me against the Pre, but it’s difficult to set aside the key element of the campaign. Maybe that’s the problem. The Pre should be the star, not a pod person.

Oh, and by the way, some viewers thought the ads were from Sprint. Uh-oh.

You can participate in the study online by going to MediaCurves.com.